The Three Love Mantras that Open Your Heart
The first time I fell in love I couldn’t believe what happened to the world. The sky had never been that blue before! The trees looked like works of art! The most annoying acquaintance was suddenly adorable, and the morning traffic jam became a delightful chance to sit and dream.
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? But of course, in the years since, I’ve learned that it’s not that the world that changed; it was my own heart. When we’re in love, our hearts open up like flowers, making the whole world seem like paradise. Wouldn’t it be great to live this way all of the time?
That was the question I set out to answer in my latest book, Love for No Reason. As part of my research, I found and interviewed over 150 unconditionally loving people I call “Love Luminaries”—people living with an open heart no matter what was happening in their lives. Among the key lessons I learned from them are what I call the three “love mantras,” phrases that help us remember to open our hearts and feel the love everyday.
Love Mantra #1: Love is Who We Are. Love isn’t just something we feel for others, it’s who we are. Though we usually think of love as a stream of emotion flowing between two people, love is more like an ocean that’s inside and all around us.
Instead of walking around with a little cup, begging for a few drops of love from others, recognize that you’re the huge ocean of love. Let go of the feeling, There’s a limit to love and I have to get mine. When you do this, you relax, and your energy expands. Rather than looking at every interaction as a potential source of love—something to fill you up and make you feel good—come to every interaction radiating love. Then you go from being a “love beggar,” to being a “love philanthropist.”
Love Mantra #2: The Purpose of Life is to Expand in Love. Love is your job description – no matter what you do for a living. If you ever feel unsure of what you’re supposed to do in a situation, here’s a good rule of thumb: always do what leads to greater love. When you put giving and receiving love at the top of your priority list, you’ll definitely experience more everyday success and raise the quality of your life.
Love Mantra #3: The Heart is the Portal to Love. Your heart is more than a physical pump; it’s your ticket to experiencing Love for No Reason. If it’s open, love flows freely, both in and out. If it’s closed, even with the best intentions, you’ll have a hard time being loved or being loving. Try pouring water into or out of a jar if the lid is on. It’s a simple case of physics.
Focus your attention on your heart. When your heart feels open, expanded and light, then you know you’re on the right track for greater love. When it’s shut down, tight or heavy, you know you’re going in the direction of less love. When this happens, shift your thoughts, feelings, and actions so they support the opening of your heart.
Remembering these three mantras will help you shift to a new paradigm and open your heart to a deeper and higher love.
As you’re learning to experience more love in your life, it’s important to treat yourself with love. When you notice your heart closing, instead of getting down on yourself, know that, just by being aware that it is closing, you’re one step closer to positive change.
Many of us think we’re only going to change by beating ourselves up, but harshness and self-hatred don’t lead to lasting change and never lead to more love. Being gentle with yourself will speed your growth and improve your quality of life as you go.
Doing this will put you on the fast-track to Love for No Reason. Then every day can be an “in love” day.
By Marci Shimoff. Adapted from Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love (Free Press, December 2010).
Marci Shimoff is a #1 New York Times bestselling author and a world-renowned transformational teacher. As an expert on happiness, success, and unconditional love, Marci has inspired millions of people around the globe, sharing her breakthrough methods for personal fulfillment and professional success.
Marci’s newest book Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love offers a revolutionary program for living in a state of deep and lasting love that doesn’t depend on another person, situation, or romantic partner. Her other books include the runaway bestseller, Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out and six titles in the phenomenally successful Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul series.Her books have sold more than 14 million copies worldwide in 33 languages, have topped all of the major bestseller lists, and have been on the New York Times bestseller list for a total of 118 weeks. Marci is one of the bestselling female nonfiction authors of all time.
Marci is the also the host of the national PBS television special called Happy for No Reason. In addition, she’s a featured teacher in the international film and book sensation, The Secret.
President and co-founder of the Esteem Group, Marci delivers keynote addresses and seminars on happiness, unconditional love, success, and peak performance to corporations, professional and non-profit organizations, and women’s associations. She’s been a top-rated trainer for numerous Fortune 500 companies, including AT&T, GM, Sears, Kaiser Permanente, and Bristol-Myers Squibb.
As an acclaimed authority on success, happiness, and unconditional love, Marci is often approached by media for her insights and advice. She has been on more than 500 national and regional television and radio shows and has been featured in over 200 newspaper articles. Her writing has appeared in many national magazines, including Ladies Home Journal and Woman’s World.
Marci earned her MBA from UCLA She is a founding member and on the board of directors of the Transformational Leadership Council, a group of 100 top leaders serving over ten million people in the self-development market.Through her books and her presentations, Marci’s message has touched the hearts and rekindled the spirits of millions of people throughout the world. She is dedicated to fulfilling her life’s purpose of helping people live more empowered and joy-filled lives.